yup. x dapat fly.

so ib result baru je keluar rabu hari tu. and yup i didn't meet the MARA's requirement. so that's it. after 2 years of pain-in-the-arse in IB i screwed it at the very end. its not that the IB is so tough 81 of us didn't managed to hit the 35 points set by MARA. it just faith has spoken and sapa la kita to doubt on it. and i believe most of us just shock for what just happened. even me myself was speechless when i first knew bout my result. im just overwhelmed. its all blended and there's no word to describe exactly what had happened to me during that day. i didn't cry when i knew about it. it just indescribable. then my mum just got back from work bought me lemang from pasar malam sbb mak terengat semalam nye i was just so kempunan to eat lemang. and i hugged her and whisper,"mak, ana tak lepas point". and maken kuat aku peluk mak aku n of course i was cried! tak tahan kotttttt -.-" mak cakap la "nak buat cmne xde rezeki. xpe la" oh mommy i love u :') so malam tu aku ok sangat and makan dengan banyak je n gelak2 n hepi sembang dengan aina. and i just moved on and googled for other biasiswa or apa2 and didn't looking back or nak merintih2 watsoever on my result. and the saddest part is bila kawan sendiri yang senasib kita sangat sedih and nanges2 call. sangat faham ape yg dia rasa and rasa nak menanges sebab dengar kawan sendiri sedih yang amat sangat. and entah kenapa malam2 dalam pukol 2pagi camtu and tiba2 rasa cam sebak. news feed FB penuh perkataan alhamdulillah. bukak group batch kita pun penuh dengan joy and happiness. semua org happy yang teramat sangat. semua org bahagia.ye la siapa x lapang dada bila dah berjaya after 2 years of struggle. Ib pulak tu. n itu la sekuat2 aku terima hakikat aku burst jugak at the end. and tiba2 terlintas dalam kepala aku yang i was too close to reach my dream. all the IELTS, BTN, Unis application, harapan mak ayah and semua2 tu semua datang sekali gus. i was emo like helllll!and nanges depan komputerrrrr. menanges2. it was so silent and dark and there's an SMS came in from a friend. "tido?" and aku terus gtau pasal result aku. i called him and nanges nanges nanges and nangesssssssssssssssssssssss -.-" tiba2 malam tu emo melampau and tak boleh tido and saket kepala sebab nanges banyak sangat.

you know when you really need someone to keep you strong u've got Allah and your mum. and don't rely on friends. only your bestfriends are there to keep you holding on and washed away your tears. and masa ni la we can differentiate who's your real friends and who's kawan yang only layak digelar friends on facebook. maybe some were just thinking they afraid that saying something might kill me inside. thats ok :) for those yang berjaya i wish you guys all the best and for not believe me we're going to make it through.